Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Liquor Barn

I was almost out of money again. I had just enough to get me by another week before I'd be forced to find a job. I hated work. We work more than we actually live in our lifetime. Not me though; I wasn't going to live like that. I decided a long time ago to live day by day; hour by hour; minute by minute. It was less stressful.
I heard a soft knock on my door as I buttered my toast in the kitchen.
"Nick, you in there?"
"I'm here," I said.
"Can you open the door?"
"Yeah, can you open the door already?"
"What's wrong with your hands?"
He opened the door and came in.
"It's always open; you know that," I told him.
"Well, you never know."
"Never know what?"
"I dont know. You could think it's someone trying to rob you."
"You'd only get hit with a lamp. What's wrong, you can't take a lamp against your skull? Get it together."
He laughed. "Well, I guess if it's you swinging the lamp. I could take a sledgehammer to the head if it was swung by you. Look, you can barely hold that knife up to butter your toast."
"It's been a long night."
"Where's the woman?"
"She already left. Hopefully she doesn't find her way back."
"She's too good for you anyways."
"They all are. Have you ever been with a woman you actually deserved?"
"What do you mean?"
"We completely defile women . We take them home, get their clothes off, put a dick in their mouth, in their cunt, in their ass; suck on their tits. Do we deserve that?"
"I guess not."
"Exactly, but they enjoy it. They actually enjoy a cock being shoved in their mouth. They enjoy being bent over, with their hair being pulled back. They're just like wild animals. Next time you see a nicely dressed, wall street type broad, look a little closer. She appears to be intelligent and educated; the type of woman you'd have to go out with for a month just to see some nipple. But just think, she's no different than any other girl. She gets a dick shoved in her mouth, she gets bent over a table, she gets fucked like an animal."
"So, we deserve it then?"
"No, we don't deserve it; but we get to have it anyways."
"Just like everything else."
"Pretty much. So, what did you come here for, enlightenment?"
"I came to see if you wanted to check out this new liquor store that opened up down the street."
"What's wrong with the one accross the parking lot?"
"I heard this new one has some pretty wild shit in there. Apparently it's like a circus filled with booze."
"That doesn't sound good."
"It's real cheap though."
"That sounds good."
"Cheap liquor always sounds good. Whenever cheap and liquor are together in the same sentence, I get a hard on."
"Like a cheap, liquored up whore?"
"Sounds like you're describing my girlfriend; so no, that doesn't sound good."
"She is a freak though, you've got to give her that."
"Yeah, she'll take it any way I can bend her."
"We should all be so lucky. Anyways, I need to take a shower. Grab a beer from the fridge."
"Got anything stronger?"
"You know where it is," I said, as I walked down the hall and into the bathroom.
"What about your toast?"
"Throw it out!"

I got out of the shower, got dressed, and came into the living room. Luke was sitting on the couch drinking my whiskey and reading the newspaper.
"Pour me a glass," I said.
"There's not much left."
"Give me yours then." He handed me his glass and I finished it quickly. "Alright, I'm ready," I said.
"Who's driving?"
"Let's walk. I need some fresh air to clear this hangover."
"Some pussy would help too."
"One thing at a time, Luke."
We walked down the street and passed a cigar back and forth. It was a nice day. The sun was shining, people were out jogging, laughing, smiling; it made me sick. I watched the cars drive by and thought about where the people might be going. Most of them were probably headed to work, which made me feel a bit better. We walked a little more, crossed the street, finished the cigar, and finally made it to the liquor store. I stood in front and looked up at the sign. It was huge with flashing lights moving around "The Liquor Barn".
"Looks pretty wild," I said.
"Reminds me of Vegas."
"There better not be any fucking clowns inside."
"Maybe there's strippers?"
We quickly walked through the front door, hoping to see some tits. There were more flashing lights. Techno was blasting out of huge speakers stuck to the roof, which turned my minor headache into a full migraine.
"I'm getting out of here," I said.
"Wait! We haven't even bought any booze yet."
"I'm going to fucking kill somebody if I stay here any longer."
"Chill out Nick. Head over to the back, I see some beer in a fridge."
I looked over and saw a big fridge, with a BEER sign flashing.
"Grab 24 of them. I'll grab some whiskey and pay for it," Luke said.
"I don't see any tits."
"Looks like it's just a bunch of lights and music."
"If hell exists, I'm sure it's exactly like this."
Just as I started heading towards the beer, a woman in a bikini on roller blades flew right in front of me.
"If you want me you’ve got to catch me!" she shouted.
I stood there for a moment and tried to figure out what the hell was going on.
"Go get her!" Luke yelled.
"This is fucked up," I said, and walked quickly towards the back where she was headed.
There were hay stacks all over and robotic horses and bulls running along the walls. This was too much to handle with a hangover. I weaved around the hay stacks and past a large amount of wine all the way to the back. She was nowhere to be seen. I kept heading back, deeper and deeper into the abyss. The techno was getting louder and the robotic horses began making sounds. The bulls started going faster and faster and my headache got worse and worse. Finally she came out from behind a big stack of hay. She didn't have her roller blades on anymore.
"First time here?" she asked.
"And hopefully my last," I said.
"Aww, I wouldn't say that just yet. You haven't even had any fun!" She started walking towards me, undoing the top of her bikini.
I stepped back and sat on a small haystack, hoping to either get laid or get killed.
"Is this really a liquor store?" I asked.
"No, it most certainly is not."
"What is it?"
"It's The Liquor Barn!" she yelled, and threw the top of her bikini at me.
I reached over and grabbed a bottle of wine, opened it, and had a drink.
"Hey now, you're going to have to pay for that baby boy," she said.
"And what about you?"
"Oh, little ol' me? I'm free baby. I'm just a part of the show!"
She hopped onto my lap and threw her chest in my face. My headache was instantly cured. I pulled my head out from between her tits and took my shirt off. She got off my lap and grabbed my pants.
"These are coming off!" she shouted.
I reached to grab her bikini bottom and pull it down but she slapped my hand away.
"That's not for you baby! You get my tits and my mouth," she said as she giggled.
This is the best liquor store I've ever been to, I thought. I lit a cigarette and watched the top of her head as she went to work.

Luke was standing at the front desk, talking to the cashier.
"This place is pretty cool," he said. "What do I owe you for the whiskey?"
"Nothing," the cashier told him.
"What do you mean nothing?"
"First time's free."
"Shit, I love this place."
"Everybody does."
"My buddy is just grabbing some beer from the fridge. I'm not sure what's taking him so long."
"Maybe he’s talking to that girl."
"The chick on the roller blades?"
"That's right. She came in just before you guys did."
"Hopefully he’s convinced her to come home with us."
Before Luke could say anything more he had a silenced gun against his head by a masked man. He turned slowly, confused from the shock, and saw that another masked man had a shotgun held up to the cashiers face.
"UNLOAD THE FUCKING REGISTER!" screamed the one with the shotgun.
"QUICKLY!" yelled the other one. "Don’t fucking move," he told Luke. "Don't you fucking move. You want to be a wise guy, huh, you want to be a fucking wiseguy!?"
"Calm down!" the other one said. "I'm getting the fucking money!"
"I don't like this guy, man! I don't fucking like this guy!"
"Chill out," Luke said. "I'm just standing here. I'm not going to do anything."
The one by the cashier took his shotgun and cracked it across the cashier's face, knocking him unconscious.
"What the hell did you do that for?" Luke asked, with a frightened tone.
"This guy needs to get it man! He's begging for it! Let's do him now! Let's do him fast!"
"Go ahead," said the one with the shotgun.

The girl in the bikini finally finished me off. The techno was still blasting and the animals were still going in circles. I was lost inside this place, and I didn't know if I was ever getting out.
"Now make sure you pay for that wine!" she told me, as she put her roller blades and bikini top on.
"Can you bring a 24 case up front for me?"
"Do I look like a slave?"
"Don't you work here?"
She rolled on by me and smiled. "You're cute. I'll see you around, baby boy."
I finished the bottle of wine and stuffed it into a haystack. I put another two bottles underneath my left arm, and picked up a 24 case of beer with my right hand. I staggered to the front and dropped the wine bottles when I saw what appeared to be a massacre.
"Jesus!" I yelled. Luke was lying on the ground in a pool of blood, with part of his head missing. I leaned over the counter and the cashier was also on the ground, with all of his head still intact. This place is definitely hell, I thought. I looked around the room, gazing off into the flashing lights, the horse, the bull, the speakers, Luke's corpse, when suddenly the whiskey aisle caught my eye. I started thinking of this situation in a positive way. I quickly grabbed a couple bags and filled them with whiskey, vodka, rum, and gin. I grabbed some more wine since the other ones broke on the floor. I put all the bags by the front door, turned and looked at Luke's body; poor guy. I ran over, took out his wallet, and grabbed the cash in it. I made my way behind the counter and grabbed the money from the cashier's wallet as well. This is some liquor store, I thought. I stood by the front door for a second, lit a cigarette, picked up all the bags, and walked out. Just before crossing the street I watched a convertible drive by with two men and a woman in it. I looked a little closer as the woman turned towards me; it was the girl in the bikini. I crossed the street and didn't think anything of it. I guess I won't have to get a job next week after all.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Why Bother?

I showed up late for a friend's Birthday
Party, against
all my instincts.
"Where have you been?"
"I had a few
"You had a few drinks?"
"I had to."
"You had to have
a few drinks?"
"Listen, I didnt want to come to
this party,
but I came anyways."
"Is that supposed to make
me feel better?"
"You know what would make me feel
A drink."
He walked away
so I left.
Now I know why I stay at home
so much.


im stranded on this
a hitchiker with no thumbs
walking along
my emotions have been stripped
the sun never shines

and still
i have a smile on my face
walking along a
dark path
with a bottle of whiskey that
never goes bad

am i the last man
or the first man to realize
nobody else